Graham Joshi: The Knee Injury

This event happened around more than a year ago, I specifically remember the date in which it was October 27 on a Wednesday. But let's go a little before that, a little background information always creates the opening in the tunnel. I was 15, a sophomore in Lincoln High School, and living the normal wake up routine. I wasn't exactly perfect, my grades were pretty mediocre with a 3.3 and I wasn't so focused nor cooperative. I was also playing football, with one more game to finish I was pretty bummed, after that there will never be a real home field until after graduation. I was pretty negative throughout life, only focused on the "what if" negative answers and being self pitied. One day I had a small hint of my issue, it was Tuesday, the day before the event. We were doing one on ones, and at one point I just randomly threw a teammate to the ground without thinking, and realized that something was wrong, and feeling a karma kick in. Things were rather conflicting after that, then it was Wednesday. Nearly done with practice, we were on the last scrimmage play, I was on left side defensive end. When I got off I felt something "awkward", and immediately dropped to the ground. I sat up and saw the thing I wish never happened again, my knee went out. It was pre-shock until I slid it back into place, making a scene by rolling on the ground like a dog rolling for a treat. I was upset, at the fact that it happened, but also at myself, because I knew it was something I probably deserved for my actions, that "karma" feeling. I already knew the circumstances of my injury, thinking of myself already in crutches and atrophying because I can barely move. In which my pride was at its all time low, mad at myself for something that was unexpected but expected at the same time, and also a feeling of letting my team down because of the "karma" feeling. After leaving the facility the teammate I threw said he forgave me for what happened, it was random but a teaching moment at the same time. It taught me to first of all, not treat your teammates with harm, but also that the bond of a team can't be interrupted by a conflict. It would continue, on Thursday the linemen group went to PF Chang's (a traditional spot we go to before game day), I didn't feel like going, I felt ashamed of myself. I told them I didn't deserve to go because I couldn't play, but they insisted I go still, and that was something I will never forget. Out of all things I wonder "why me?", and I learn why, and this is one of them. This one thing taught me that, the value of a team is like family, and I never thought of it that way, I only thought of it as more "work partners". This made many changes in my life, it made me more appreciative of what I have and also to be more respectful towards others. While I did have months of PT (before and during COVID), it was all pure determination to be better with myself and also with others.